Short Love story (Unedited)

There once was a man That lived in a boot, he was a male whore & he slept w/ so many women that he lost count Then he met a girl named Elizabeth & she told him that she could change his life N he didn't believe her but she smiled & said watch So then they went out on a few dates...nothing major Just a few here & there & she started opening up to him....something the other girls he slept w/ never knew how to doBc they were never a challenge for him & after this one particular date he invited her to his boot But she said no & instead invited him to her place & so he agreed & to his surprise she lived in a boot too & it looked just like his place....actually exactly like his place He thought she was playing tricks on him & he asked her...Elizabeth why did you bring me back to my apt...& she said baby I didn't...this is my place & he says....well it looks just like mine...the walls are beat up...u don't have any mirrors anywhere Your closets are bare This is my place! He insisted & as Elizabeth got undressed she said Baby this is my place...I brought you over here to show you that I'm just like you...I may carry myself in a certain manner But you & I are 2 in the same
I feel what you feel when you bring different girls home every night
& I want you to know that you don't have to feel that anymore
Bc I don't want to feel that anymore
& they laid side by side
& as he undressed after a while
They made love...for the 1st time in his life
He made love & it was w/ Elizabeth & it felt so sweet
& he promised not to hurt himself by sleeping w/ those other girls bc the reality was....
It hurt her too.....
Thee End....

4 ever & a day....

Sad to say but I'd wait for you to come around, 4ever & a day...I'll be here 4ever & a day, when everyone turns their back on you I'll still be here, 4ever & a day....hope that some day you'll be able to see that for yourself...one day...& as the tears run down my face tonite I have no idea why I'm even shedding them...the thought of waiting 4ever & a day for my husband to realize that I'm supposed to be his wife hurts so I guess that's why I'll shed em 4ever & a day. It's like I know you but I'm still trying to figure you out...like I love you but I don't want to bc your vision is still blurred so I guess I'm still waiting for it to clear 4ever & a day. I don't want you to want me bc everyone else in your past has moved on...I want you to want me bc YOU want to WANT ME...you're far from perfect & I still fell for ALL of your imperfections now if only you could fall for mine...But while you're still trying to figure it all out I'll wait for you to come around 4ever & a day...moving on isn't hard but it seems like you want me to wait for you & as bad as I try to fight the feeling...you see me standing here still waiting...4ever & a day...=(

The Fiend

I was once "the fiend", the call till u answer & curse me out fiend, the why doesn't he wanna be with me fiend, the write u love letters fiend, the text u till u turned off ur phone fiend, the walk down ur block fiend, the give u my money fiend, the give u my sex fiend, the give u my breath fiend, the give u my life fiend, the give u all of me fiend....& when guys would fiend after me I would fiend after him & he would fiend after her...we were all foolish fiends. Fiending to be wanted, to be loved by someone by that one...by her, by him, by he, by she...with me fiending to be wanted by HE. I gotta admit I definitely overdosed fell flat on my face embarrassed ashamed fiending for a "HE" that didn't value me...(unbeknownst to me) wanting to be with a deadbeat, a sex fiend, an alcoholic, a cheater, a liar, a fool, a theif, a cheat, "a wolf in sheeps clothing" & every time the wolf revealed itself the fiend in me died...little by little she died...thinking to myself y am I fiending degrading myself to please a man that if I one day ever bared his last name his own legacy would be "male whore" therefore making me "the fiend that finally got the male whore"...Y would I want to be known as that "fiend"??? The foolish sheep that let the wolf devour her. We can only claim to be naive but for so long. I would allow u to keep playing me for a fool, to keep thinking I'm that same fiend, BUT since I'm too old to continue to play victim watch ur steps around this fiend bc SHE SHALL FIEND NO MORE!!!!!

I'm Backkk =-)

Hey Guys & Dolls...been a while since I've blogged ((the whole moving from NYC to LA thing had my mind focused on other issues))...I haven't really been in a writing mood but an "I Love You" text recently annoyed the heck outta me, so I figure NOW it's time to vent...I introduce to u "The Fiend"

LOVE ME...LOVE ME NOT

Laying here thinking ab the days when u were once mine...when u first walked up to me & said "OMG UR BEAUTIFUL"...fun times..we grew together, laffed all day made love all nite..ate, slept, woke up, ate, slept, woke up; together we were one, u finished my sentences I finished urs, my breath was ur breath...I coulda swore I saw u in all of my dreams every nite as I lay next to u silently, asleep, praying that u'd never leave me...hoping that u'd stay 4ever..that we'd be together for more than a second, minute, hr, day; that u would decide I was the one b4 I walked out the door just to return again & ur vision still blurred bc u couldn't see....Couldn't see what everyone else saw in u & me...ur vision was distorted & I stayed tryna show u...screaming with no voice, silently waiting with little patience, begging without uttering a word...Started off so beautiful ended so ugly...I didn't give u all of me bc I'm a "girl" I gave u all of me by accident I didn't even mean to fall...fall so hard bc "crazy girls" fall hard. & I'm not crazy just woulda did everything for u... Gave u my last when I didn't even have it gave u my first as soon as I got it all bc u wanted it. I swear some day my loyalty will be the death of me & as I lay here tears falling I still miss that "us" we once were b4 I finally gave up on repairing ur vision. I wanted u to LOVE ME but u decided, then, to LOVE ME NOT...
Thinking I'm never gonna find what we had again bc I've never experienced a love so deep for another being. Everything new is forced & faked, but when they tell me u LOVE ME & ask me if I LOVE u now....I guess...I guess...I LOVE u NOT...
-XoXo

Valentines Day, The Day After

Happy (Belated) Valentines Day Guys & Dolls...I'm uber late with a lot of my posts that I promised to have up bc school is kicking my butt =( I would say the usual "ONLY U CAN LOVE U" hooplah but after analyzing everyone's thoughts pre, post & during VDAY I've decided to revoke that statement LOL...It seemed like this year EVERY guy & doll I came across was "VALENTINE-LESS", to say the least...& I'm NOT going to dwell on how I feel ab that one but for the "MEAN COUPLES" that had nothing but negative comments for those of us that decided to ixney vday just remember that u can be single next year!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sike I'm just playing (I can't act like I didn't get Anna Sui perfume & lingerie, or any other nice gifts, a few yrs back) my guys & dolls know I LOVE, LOVE & the idea of "together 4everness"...So I send all my LOVE BIRDS best wishes in that department....Just DON'T take each other for granted!
-XoXo

Pick & Choose

So I waited a while to post this one bc I was lost in transition...I'm stumped idk how ppl can say they want to marry a person and then continuously cheat on their alleged "soul mate" with an ex. Why call a guy "hubby" and a doll "wifey" if u don't mean it??? I'm so tired of these titles...when in reality (if u ask me) they mean absolutely NOTHING. I guess some ppl want to be perceived with their significant other as "the perfect couple" but where is ur heart @, bc if ur still cheating ur heart is confused....spend days, nites, weekends hiding from ur real life with ur other hearts desire??? We spend all this time with one person vowing to live happily ever after till death do us part thinking we've found "the one" but still missing that "one". Maybe that's y Swiss left Mashonda for Alicia or y Steve Harvey left his 1st wife for his mistress or y any other guy/doll, for that matter, leaves a 10 year+ relationships, bc they've found that thing in the next person & they've fallen out of love with the previous...Leaving the other to try to pick up broken pieces...kids, home. All u've ever known, diminished, gone, vanished, ERASED; only distant memories of what was b4. I can totally relate to how it feels to think ur "wifey/hubby" for so long & ur spouse tells u its over/ u find out ab another person and now ur "prefect couple" image has shattered. So u've decided "I'm gonna waste my confused yrs with him/her & spend the rest of my life (my years of realization) with who I really wanted to be with but wasn't sure" multiple kids & 1 (or more) divorce(s) later??? That's why I truly believe that the only thing constant in life is in fact CHANGE. I can't help anyone choose I can only continue to be myself & hope that an ex doesn't realize that we're supposed to be together 5/6/7 yrs down the line bc they know that they chose right...& I pray that I don't fall victim to this but like they say "IT'S LIFE & SH*T HAPPENS"