LOVE ME...LOVE ME NOT

Laying here thinking ab the days when u were once mine...when u first walked up to me & said "OMG UR BEAUTIFUL"...fun times..we grew together, laffed all day made love all nite..ate, slept, woke up, ate, slept, woke up; together we were one, u finished my sentences I finished urs, my breath was ur breath...I coulda swore I saw u in all of my dreams every nite as I lay next to u silently, asleep, praying that u'd never leave me...hoping that u'd stay 4ever..that we'd be together for more than a second, minute, hr, day; that u would decide I was the one b4 I walked out the door just to return again & ur vision still blurred bc u couldn't see....Couldn't see what everyone else saw in u & me...ur vision was distorted & I stayed tryna show u...screaming with no voice, silently waiting with little patience, begging without uttering a word...Started off so beautiful ended so ugly...I didn't give u all of me bc I'm a "girl" I gave u all of me by accident I didn't even mean to fall...fall so hard bc "crazy girls" fall hard. & I'm not crazy just woulda did everything for u... Gave u my last when I didn't even have it gave u my first as soon as I got it all bc u wanted it. I swear some day my loyalty will be the death of me & as I lay here tears falling I still miss that "us" we once were b4 I finally gave up on repairing ur vision. I wanted u to LOVE ME but u decided, then, to LOVE ME NOT...
Thinking I'm never gonna find what we had again bc I've never experienced a love so deep for another being. Everything new is forced & faked, but when they tell me u LOVE ME & ask me if I LOVE u now....I guess...I guess...I LOVE u NOT...
-XoXo

Valentines Day, The Day After

Happy (Belated) Valentines Day Guys & Dolls...I'm uber late with a lot of my posts that I promised to have up bc school is kicking my butt =( I would say the usual "ONLY U CAN LOVE U" hooplah but after analyzing everyone's thoughts pre, post & during VDAY I've decided to revoke that statement LOL...It seemed like this year EVERY guy & doll I came across was "VALENTINE-LESS", to say the least...& I'm NOT going to dwell on how I feel ab that one but for the "MEAN COUPLES" that had nothing but negative comments for those of us that decided to ixney vday just remember that u can be single next year!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sike I'm just playing (I can't act like I didn't get Anna Sui perfume & lingerie, or any other nice gifts, a few yrs back) my guys & dolls know I LOVE, LOVE & the idea of "together 4everness"...So I send all my LOVE BIRDS best wishes in that department....Just DON'T take each other for granted!
-XoXo

Pick & Choose

So I waited a while to post this one bc I was lost in transition...I'm stumped idk how ppl can say they want to marry a person and then continuously cheat on their alleged "soul mate" with an ex. Why call a guy "hubby" and a doll "wifey" if u don't mean it??? I'm so tired of these titles...when in reality (if u ask me) they mean absolutely NOTHING. I guess some ppl want to be perceived with their significant other as "the perfect couple" but where is ur heart @, bc if ur still cheating ur heart is confused....spend days, nites, weekends hiding from ur real life with ur other hearts desire??? We spend all this time with one person vowing to live happily ever after till death do us part thinking we've found "the one" but still missing that "one". Maybe that's y Swiss left Mashonda for Alicia or y Steve Harvey left his 1st wife for his mistress or y any other guy/doll, for that matter, leaves a 10 year+ relationships, bc they've found that thing in the next person & they've fallen out of love with the previous...Leaving the other to try to pick up broken pieces...kids, home. All u've ever known, diminished, gone, vanished, ERASED; only distant memories of what was b4. I can totally relate to how it feels to think ur "wifey/hubby" for so long & ur spouse tells u its over/ u find out ab another person and now ur "prefect couple" image has shattered. So u've decided "I'm gonna waste my confused yrs with him/her & spend the rest of my life (my years of realization) with who I really wanted to be with but wasn't sure" multiple kids & 1 (or more) divorce(s) later??? That's why I truly believe that the only thing constant in life is in fact CHANGE. I can't help anyone choose I can only continue to be myself & hope that an ex doesn't realize that we're supposed to be together 5/6/7 yrs down the line bc they know that they chose right...& I pray that I don't fall victim to this but like they say "IT'S LIFE & SH*T HAPPENS"